If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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