you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
