I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
