I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
