ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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