none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
