Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
