On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
