I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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