There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
