What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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