We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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