Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
