i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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