oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
