On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
