it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
