Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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