It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
