one might say we're banned from that church
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
