I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
