i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
