There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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