He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
