Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
