"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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