I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
