theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
