I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
