Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
