I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
