What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
