How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
