I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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