That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
