I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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