bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is Oprah even human
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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