I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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