in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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