He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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