I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
