I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
soo... how was my night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
