We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
