i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
