New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
