i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
