Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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