I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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