You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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