whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know her cup size but not her name....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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