I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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