Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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