im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
