Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
